After
receiving the unsatisfactory information from our final meeting with the first
foster agency and speaking to a psychiatrist, we decided to attend a recruiting
“Orientation” in Tucson, Arizona. This basically means that all of the local
agencies are in one building. It was held at a church, and each agency had a
booth with one or two representatives available to speak with potential foster
parents. The room was full with seating for at least 100 people. Rows of chairs
with a small aisle down the middle setup with a narrow area in the front for an
introduction fill most of the room. The booths surround the chairs on all
sides. More space is needed so there are a few running down a wide corridor to
accommodate all of the agencies that have shown up. I would imagine all of the
people that attended except us and the agency workers were thinking of becoming
foster parents and had not participated in any form of training.
Our
situation was different, as we have already fulfilled many important requirements.
We had taken and passed the main course (PS MAPPS) required by the State of
Arizona, acquired CPR and First Aid Cards, obtained level one clearance cards
from the F.B.I., taken an extra class on dealing with children who are victims
of sexual abuse, finished the extensive, online application, and started the
home study interviews. The Home study and home inspection by the State of
Arizona were the last items that needed to be completed. Our paperwork could be
sent in for processing and approval for a foster care license when these were
finished. It is easy to see why we remained committed when looking at all of these
accomplishments. My wife is a huge source of strength, and she helps me keep
the goal in sight at times when I would be ready to throw in the towel. Her
willpower has only grown in strength towards this achievement that we struggle
to accomplish. Telling this woman she cannot do something and then offering no reasonable
excuse as to why this decision has been instituted is not a good way to send
her on her way. Knowing that the decisions of the first agency are without
justification, because they are based on opinion rather than fact, fills her
with the determination to accomplish the goal another way. Something this life changing
should be handled with more professionalism. When I say life-changing I refer
to both our family and the children we could be helping.
During the recruiting orientation, we
introduced ourselves to an agent who had been playing phone tag with my wife. She
had immediately started to call the different agencies in town to try and find
the right fit for us after our fiasco with the first agency, and had left
messages with different individuals. Meeting other agents and receiving
different tidbits of information at the gathering we were able to see
first-hand if we felt these introductory people would mesh with our thoughts on
the matter of foster care licensing. We could also find out how they would be
able to use our previous endeavors to help us reach our objective without
starting all over. The individual that engaged himself in the game of phone tag
with my wife seemed the best fit after touring the room and hallway meeting the
other agency representatives. Each small conversation with the different
agencies varied to some degree, but remained mostly similar. Some agencies will
not license a family if they are not a specific religion. Some agencies will
not license a family if they have an interest in adoption. Orientations are a good way to weed out those agencies
that are not an option for your family. The reason we chose the phone tag
person was his outward personality, truthfulness and demeanor. Of course this
does not always suggest that each person we deal with at this agency will be
the same, as we quickly found out.
We were assigned a licensing agent with
the second organization shortly after the orientation. We looked forward to
meeting with him in our home to continue the home studies. I won’t say that
punctuality was this person’s strong suit nor calling ahead when he was late to
show up at our house by fifteen or twenty minutes, but we forged ahead anyhow
hoping for a better overall outcome. He was pleasant and much more professional
when it came to the actual interviews. I chalk it up to caring and experience
mixed together. Unfortunately, this agent was pursuing a different career as he
was going to obtain his Master’s Degree soon; however, he promised to finish
and submit our home study before actually leaving his post. Just like in the
prior agency this man told us that he felt we would make the best of foster
parents and could not wait to give us placements of children in need. He
finished our study, but failed to submit it before leaving. We were assured by
him that the person who would be taking his place would be just as attentive as
he had been. Just when we thought we were in the home stretch we hit a barrier
again. We never received any introduction from the new licensing worker that
replaced him. My wife emailed this woman and did not even receive a reply. The
poor correspondence and failure to provide pertinent information of this new
agent again filled us with despair. We tried to hold on to hope, but ultimately
could see ourselves slipping into a stale area where it seemed this agency now
did not want anything to do with us.
Again, my wife had to involve a supervisor
in the pursuit of our fostering license because of the failings of their
worker. We have been working hard with this agency and it does not seem
possible that anything could go wrong. After several emails and phone calls
from my wife, a supervisor states that they have a “few concerns that they
would like to discuss”. A meeting is scheduled to go over the “concerns”. Again…
this meeting is inspired by my wife as they would just as soon we disappeared.
They offer no possible reason or solution to their so called concerns. During
the meeting, we are told flat out that we should be spending at least $100 each
week on groceries, and that the state would not license us if they were to send
our study in while it showed our current grocery budget. Hmmmm… wow they’re
right! We are wasting away to nothing. Had they not let us know this we may have
starved to death. I hope the depth of sarcasm I am displaying here resonates as
it is meant to. My wife then explains to them that we have a fully functioning
garden that produces so many vegetables during 6 months of the year that we
have to give much of it away. We can’t possibly eat it all! She also explains that
we use our tax returns and any bonuses that I receive at work to “stock up” on
non-perishable food items. We do NOT need to spend $400/month on groceries to
feed our family. In fact, we eat pretty damn good and still have 2 full refrigerators/
freezers, and stacks of canned goods, rice, etc. in our cupboards. We also ask
the supervisor to go over our finances, because it seems that there is another
discrepancy. She agrees, pulling this information from a large stack of
paperwork that is our home study (Mind you, we’ve never seen our actual home study
with our own eyes). The information is gone over thoroughly, and I notice that
my child support has been accounted for twice. Now I am certainly not a genius,
but if they had simply noticed a very easily seen error on their part the
financial issue would not be relevant. We have more than enough money to care
for our own family without the state reimbursement. These types of accusations
are downright humiliating when you are just trying to help someone less
fortunate than yourself.
A Reason that will remain unspoken
until a later date:
The
day after this meeting about “concerns”, my wife reaches out to what she has
decided will be the last agency. If this doesn’t work, we are done.
It was our choice to pursue a 3rd
agency, without waiting for an answer from the 2nd, but we later
found out that they had no intentions of licensing us. Their reason was without
justification, biased, and discriminatory. If we had the time and money to
pursue it, and weren’t more interested in helping foster children than fighting
with them, I have no doubt that we would have won in court. This imaginary
winning of a suit against these pompous closed-minded people makes me smile
today. I can only imagine a couple of people losing their poorly executed careers
as the verdict causes unwanted press and shame upon an agency that is supposed
to help people.
How we found the 3rd agency:
After our infertility struggles, it just
so happened that my wife had a conversation with an acquaintance (Bill) that
had been through the foster care system and had even adopted one of his
placements. He is the one who urged us to check into the first agency. His
experience was obviously much better than ours. During our repeated
disappointments, my wife had kept in touch with him, and after the 2nd
agency proved to be a bust, she reached out to him with great desperation. Bill
begged her to not give up, and offered to speak with his licensing worker at a
completely new agency that we had never heard of. A few emails were exchanged,
and my wife began the process of having our records transferred to this woman’s
office. Being the bleeding heart that she is, my wife’s hope was renewed yet
again. Mine was not. I’m beginning to wonder if anyone will be able to help us.
Do they want to help us? What is so horribly wrong with us that we are not
wanted to fulfill a position that is so desperately needed in our state. We are
told that children are sleeping on floors in group homes because the beds are
all full. We have a clean home, love to give, and have passed all background
checks. I cannot believe that we are at our third stop (agency) and that it has
been close to a year after receiving our certificate of completion of the PS
MAPPS course for fostering children.
The reason the second agency did not want
to license us comes out after a month or so of going through paperwork, and
putting the final additions on our home study (that was never finished). This
disgusting reason for our abandonment was gleaned when our new licensing agent’s
supervisor happened to be in a meeting that included other agencies and spoke
with our previous licensing agent from stop number 2. Again, I will reveal this
reason, along with the entire conversation between the individuals mentioned, when
the time is right.
The only reason we were ever apprised of
this conversation and reason for never being considered for a license by the 2nd
agency is that our new licensing worker cared enough to tell us, after her
supervisor told her. We are extremely hurt, but glad that we finally know the
truth. It also validates our choice to leave the 2nd agency before
being officially turned down.
The new agency sees us as a breath of
fresh air and admires our passion and commitment that has brought us to their
door. After a few months, our paperwork has been submitted with the overwhelming
approval of our new agent and her supervisor. Now we wait to see if the state
of Arizona feels the same.
End of Part III
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