An intermission of thought:

     If anyone out there takes this blog as a negative motivation towards becoming a foster parent it may be that this cause is not one you should pursue. There are many things wrong with the system and I have only hit on a few here. If the small amount that I have mentioned in this Blog over close to two weeks from its beginning is enough to deter you then seek another avenue to apply your energy. Social responsibility lies not only in the care of foster children. You could address homelessness, global warming, the mentally ill, racism and peace to name a few. Find something that holds meaning for you for this will keep the passion towards its purpose alive.

    If you feel dedicated enough to continue down the path of fostering children then own it. Do not let anyone tell you that you cannot do it. This includes the agencies that have been formed to recruit and monitor foster parents. Do not except substandard efforts by them to give you the attention you deserve when you are helping out in society. It has taken my wife and I three of these agencies to find the right one, so take the time to find the one that will benefit you the most. We open our lives fully, to them in order to help out with the children that need stable and loving environments because their own parents could not provide it for them. Demand respect because you deserve it.

We have three beautiful children in our home that we did not conceive biologically. These three children are like any other. They laugh, they cry, and they need love and guidance for them to become great members of society. Just as we deserve respect for taking them in, they deserve it for having to deal with grown up issues so early in life. They do not need pity. Don’t waste this on them as it doesn’t help raise them. They need to know that they matter and that they are loved each and every day. 

     Frustration will build inside you as your hear them cry out in the night because they miss their mother or father. While comforting them feelings of my own inadequacy crossed my mind. At first I felt ashamed that this feeling of frustration flared in me. Was I not good enough? Does this child not see that I am here to help them? Try not to think of yourself as bad when this occurs. It is normal. We are their parents at the current time and we love them fully as our own. It does slap you in the face after taking such good care of them to hear them cry for someone that could care less about their welfare. You cannot share this with them, but share it with your partner, best friend, or even your licensing agent. You have to vent somehow or it will fester inside shadowing the good you are doing. 

     Enjoy the smiles, laughter and love they offer as they grow more comfortable in your home. My six year old son constantly tells my wife and I that he loves us and want to see us when he returns to his bio family. My two year old daughter slips calling me dad or my wife mom at different time and it has become more and more frequent. At first we had reservations about them calling us this but after speaking with CPS and our licensing agent find that it is normal and she not be discouraged. We did not want to tell them not to call us that anyway. It is who we are for them. Both children will hug us tightly when scared displaying their trust that you will protect them. We love these moments of pure love shown by the children. 

     One last comment here, “Be able to let them go without the emptiness of losing a child.” Is this possible? I doubt no form of emptiness will surface. We have not yet experienced it but it may come sooner than we think. The baby has been raised since 2 months old by us. We are mom and dad. My wife is her main focus on this planet. Her favorite person alive. She is hers. Just know that loss will happen and do not let it suppress the love they deserve. You will get attached if you are fostering for the right reason.