Unwanted Visit – July 16, 2012

     While I was taking my 6 year old son to school on this day he asks, “Can I come home after school today?” 

I tell him, “There is a visit with your parents and you have to go to it. 

He replies, “I just want to go home today.”

I ask, “You don’t want to go to the visit.”

     He is silent and I do not push the issue. Poor guy is probably becoming more and more confused with the inappropriateness of his mother’s conversations with him on visits about not seeing us again in the future. Can you imagine as a 6 year old kid having a family that listens to you, treats you with respect, feeds and clothes you properly, and loves you only to be told by your bio mother, whom you feel obligated to love because it is all you have ever known, that you will never get to see the people that feel more like a family to you than anything in the past? "Heartbreaking" is the word I use to describe this whole mess.

     Later in the day, my wife calls me at work at 2:33 p.m. I notice the time because she quickly tells me that there is not going to be a visit today and this would change my schedule as the school day is over at 2:40 p.m. I know there is no way I can make it in time, but someone will wait with him until I get there. I start packing my laptop as my wife continues to talk, and I hear her say that the transportation that normally picks him up for the visit will bring him home to her, so I stop frantically putting things away that I do not like to leave out in the open at work and sit back down.

     I say, “Thank God! There is no way that I would make it in time to get him.”

     She says, “I know it is good that they are going to bring him home.”

     In case you are wondering my wife does not drive. She has no license for reasons stemming from her teenage years along with several serious accidents that she was involved in as a passenger. She has developed a phobia of driving, and for the time being, does not feel comfortable with operating a vehicle. Before the purchase of the Caravan, I told her that if we ever bought a vehicle that would be easy for her to learn in (not a stick shift) that I would help her practice in a safe area, so she can help out with the many places we have to go on a regular basis. This should begin to happen in the near future if she can overcome her fears.

     There have been many transportation issues in the past that I will write about later as I make up for lost time on this blog; reflecting back on everything that has transpired to the current date. For now, I am surprisingly happy that they (the transportation providers) are doing the right thing. If you noticed though, I was ready to go get him from school without hesitating, because it has been a common occurrence for me to be called out of work to pick up a child or two for illness, transportation problems, and appointments with different doctors and CPS. I believe I wrote it in my “About Me” area on the Home page of my blog, but I am the Operations Manager at a company known as Arizona Party Rental. This means that I am the general manager (one position under the owner). I have the most flexible schedule a person can have while being on salary. I am in and out as needed. From mid-August to mid-June, I am mostly in, but can leave at opportune times to take care of issues here and there. My schedule fits into my life perfectly at the present time.

     My wife goes on to tell me that the bio dad (of the two girls) told CPS that he did not know there was a meeting on this day and his work will not allow him to leave on short-notice. Um…. there have been Monday and Thursday visits from 3-5 p.m. ever since we have had the children in our home (5 months). I did tell you that the bio parents were screwing up didn’t I?  This is just part of them not following their case plan. Not that we are upset by it, and my son must have some sort of ESP, because it’s as if he knew there was not going to be a meeting or maybe he willed it to happen this way. Either way he is not upset by the news. He will get to go straight home from school as he wanted where he can be with my wife. In fact, she hurriedly gathered craft supplies and a snack so that they could have some fun when he arrived.

 

     There have been some mentions of future plans to make changes to the visits soon (splitting them up because bio parents are fighting), but nothing has taken effect yet. Both bio parents were in attendance at the CFT this past Thursday where they discussed the visits being split, and that for the time being it would not change until further notice. Today, Tammy got the baby ready at the normal time, and was waiting for the doorbell to ring so that transportation could pick her up, when the phone rang. It was the supervisor of the agency that transports and supervises visits. She said that the visit was canceled and that the 2 year old had not been picked up from daycare. She then offered to pick up the 6 year old from school and bring him home to help us avoid an inconvenience on such short notice. Tammy agreed and thanked them very much for offering to help. The supervisor then explained why the visit was canceled (bio father claiming that he had no idea). This is a complete lie. We can only hope that the system sees these failures as what they really are.